Some folks can only deal with life when it is what they want it to be. Otherwise, they steer clear of the messy underbelly of reality.
My family deserves a big hug for how they have dealt with my husband’s (The Bearded One) dementia. They have hung in there with us. They have not expected more than he can give. They have not excluded us or shied away from us. I am sure there have been other options in their social calendars that do not include a somewhat reclusive woman and her husband who does not quite “get” what is going on but is still trying to perform the social scripts he knows to be part of the group.
My younger sister and her husband, The Tinker, have welcomed us to their ranch for several months each winter the past few years. They have rejoiced in the few times The Bearded One joined into meals or porch sittings. They did not ask for more or make him feel less.
My older sister and her husband, The Old Buckeye, visit whenever they can. They relax and chat. They, too, accept the appearances of The Bearded One when they come. They chat with him. Accept his silences. Rejoice that he has made the effort to join in.
My daughters are doing what they can. We are moving into an addition on our older daughter and son-in-law’s home. They are willing to open their lives and the lives of our Grandchildren to us. Our younger daughter supports us with her husband though it is so hard to deal with the knowledge that life takes turns that are outside of our control. Ah, it is so comforting when we think we are in control.
And, I have been a control freak all my life. I still make lists and I check them off.
But, I know I am not in control. I treasure the moments and treasure those who hang in there with me.
Thanks. For the time. For the visits. For the Facebook conversations. For the hugs.
