Fitting In

(I have lived in New Jersey for one year now.  To be precise, one year and four days.  I felt the need to reflect on this year in a new place but did not know where to start.  Then I found the draft of a blog I wrote a year ago and never published.  I will reflect…in italics…on current thoughts and happenings reflected on my thoughts of a year ago.)

I have been missing on the blog for awhile.  My life has changed big time in the weeks I have been gone.

We have moved from the campground in Ohio where we lived for months after our house sold to our new digs in New Jersey.  In the past five weeks we have survived living in a partially finished apartment we are building as an addition on my daughter and son-in-law’s home.  Over those weeks workers have been in and out most weekdays so life has been a bit unsettled.  Today the finishing touches are to be completed with the stained glass window we brought from our home in Ohio installed.  Exciting to see the project finished!

(So glad that construction bit is finished!  Though we currently have plans underway to install a wheelchair lift so are going through the permitting process, dealing with contractors, the city, the state, and architects.  Sigh.  

Here it the stained glass window though.  It has been well worth the planning process to have a custom window built for it.)

This was the window a year ago...not yet completely installed.

This was the window a year ago…not yet completely installed.

A year later, completely installed with a backsplash!

A year later, completely installed with a backsplash!

Our furniture was delivered ten days ago.  It has been a process, arranging and rearranging furniture to fit in the smaller spaces to which we have downsized.  (I am enjoying the compact apartment.  Of course, after months in the camper we have really upsized!)  Some furniture pieces have found their home in my daughter’s house when the arrangement I had imagined was just too cluttered.  Nice to have those pieces nearby and enjoyed by the extended family.  A few new pieces have been purchased to better fit the space.

First arrangement...could I have tried to fit any more furniture into the room?

First arrangement…could I have tried to fit any more furniture into the room?

Current arrangement.  Changes still being made.  Looking for a new couch....

Current arrangement. Changes still being made. Looking for a new couch….

And, speaking of fitting in, we are also fitting into this extended family living!  It is wonderful to see the Grandkids every day.  I often walk the boys to school or pick them up after school.  It is fun to meet their friends and learn about their interests.  I am learning the ins and outs of hockey, since their weekends are filled with hockey practice and games.  (I have the luxury of picking and choosing which events I attend.)

(I continue to walk the boys to school most days.  My daughter frequently has to do the pick ups because 4 of 5 school nights there is hockey practice.  I do not do practices but sometimes spend time with the grandkids not involved in practice.  My daughter is careful to make sure I do not feel like I have to watch kids.  She errs on the side of making me feel free to do as I choose..

I usually go to one hockey game a weekend.  I switch back and forth between the boys games.  I still could not identify an “off sides” but am improving on my hockey knowledge….)

I am invited to play dolls with my two year old Granddaughter who calls me Damma.  “Damma, come play with me!”  I have been fed countless play food meals.  I have played endless board games played by two year old rules. (Generally the game pieces evolve into pretend play by the end of the game…Candy Land is much more fun when you can move your piece freely over the colorful paths to visit the various Candy Kingdoms!  Even chess pieces can talk to each other and shoot each other “Pow! Pow! (She does have two older brothers, you know.)

(I am still Damma.  We now play card games and board games.  She is a card shark.  I think she is channeling my mom.  She works hard to win and is very competitive.  She wins.  A lot.)

And I play video games.  With limited success.  Often my younger Grandson will pick up whatever character I am playing in Super Mario with his character and carry me any challenging part of the game so I can survive.  I may have to do some practice on my own to be able to play with him without invoking pity.

(I still occasionally play video games but now instead of invoking pity or derision from my 9 and 10 year old grandsons, I am derided by my 3 year old granddaughter….”Damma!!!!”

My daughter and I frequently cook and complete household projects together.  The work is lightened to work together.  Nice.

(Still the same.  Sharing cooking and food planning lightens the load so much.)

The Bearded One has established his nest area to watch tv and read.  He joins the family when he wishes and goes off on his own the rest of the time.  He is invited to play chess with the younger Grandson.  It brought tears to my eyes to see that The Bearded One totally remembers the rules of chess and is able to teach my Grandson how to play.  He even allows my Grandson to capture some of his pieces so it is not too frustrating for him!

(His nest remains the same.  He spends 90% of the time in his nest, watching tv.  He has not played chess in months but comes out and watches what is going on in the public area.  He laughs and interacts as he can.)

We are easing into establishing routines that allow each of us privacy.  It is going amazingly well for all five weeks in.  I am thrilled at our new life!

(Privacy does not seem to be an issue.  We spend lots of time together and lots of time apart.  The kids move freely between the two spaces. It is a great life and there are so many other multi-generational families in the area that it is commonplace.

We made the right decision to move here.  I cannot imagine (or don’t want to imagine) living anywhere else.)