The Bearded One has dementia.  I have shared that before.

He has been very slowly moving deeper into the shadows of dementia for the last twelve years.  Around Christmas he took a sudden step toward the deep end.  After years of the gradual changes, it came as a surprise to suddenly skip a step into the dark basement of those shadows.

He is now in the beginning bits of Stage Five.  I choose not to speak specifically about his symptoms…after all he is not giving me permission to talk about these things…but my head has been brought up that we are going to be dealing with more difficult issues in months and, possibly, years to come.

I can deal with life as it comes pretty positively.  I generally do not need to vent.  One night though my daughter came to me at a vulnerable time.  I shared.  We cried at thoughts of the future.  We laughed at some of the ridiculous situations that arise.  It hurts to my soul to think about all of it.

My younger daughter is beginning to take family leave to spend time with us.  That in itself brings tears of thankfulness to my eyes and tears of pain that it is needed.  He is content in his days but does not communicate much with those around him.  I have no way of knowing how long this goodbye will take…months? years?  I am thankful to be near my older daughter and her family for support and company (it could have been a very lonely time).  I worry though on the impact of the upcoming time on my grandkids.  There are so many unknowns with which to deal.

So.  One step at a time.  One day at a time. One hug at a time.

BUT.  What I began this blog entry to tell you about is a positive thing.  My younger grandson and I began a playlist for The Bearded One.  He has loved music for his whole life.  My daughters have many memories of him playing music for them at home and in the car at ear deafening levels.  He had a huge collection of albums, CDs and tapes before we downsized.  He was able to sort through them a bit at a time as we were packing up the house but he is unable to handle playing music on his own now.  We have been taking in one album or CD at a time and having him comment on the songs.  His favorites are added to the playlist.

We have an Amazon Echo in his nest area (where he sits to watch TV and spends most of his time).  I have posted simple directions to start the playlist and control it but generally one of us starts it.

Oh, but when the music begins!  He laughs.  He sings along!  He cries.  He is amazed at the magical experience.

What a treasure!  And he is surprised with a new gift every time the treasure box is opened.